At 324 lbs, this word describes not only my physical state, but my mental state as well. I gave up soda in December and haven’t lost any weight.  I stuck to clean eating pretty well until my brother’s death in February and I guess when people don’t know what to say they opt to feed you. My darling husband gave up Mountain Dew for Dr. Pepper  and lost 20 lbs.  He chews tobacco, because my asthma and our son’s forced him to quit smoking.  He eats whatever he wants, even the occasional whole jar of green olives (*gag*), but I am the one overweight with high blood pressure. I bet you are picturing someone who sits and eats all day, but you’d be wrong.  I’m the worst at remembering to feed myself. I feed the husband, the kids, the animals.  Somehow I forget that I should eat regularly too.  So by 8 pm when I am starving I opt for convenience and microwave a ready made sandwich or I snack until I fall asleep somewhere around 3 am. I had my gallbladder removed after the birth of my daughter so many foods have been off limits for awhile.  I may not have the pain, but one wrong food and I am still just as sick as I was before. surgery.  Where has the 130 lb me of the past gone?  I realize that I am 12 years older and have had 3 kids, but I miss that girl.  I miss her ability to walk miles, swim lap after lap, work all day and not be tired. Life can’t be lived in the past though.  We only have the present.  I will be 30 in a couple years and I don’t want to be my present self at age 30.  I don’t want to be the butt of the joke anymore or the mommy with no energy.  I want to find where I left that 130 lb me and live my life fully with no regrets. That means losing 194 lbs over the next 2 years.  That means telling the world my weight and really making the changes needed to be a happier and healthier me.  So share with me your tips:  what worked for you, what do you do to live a healthier life, and most importantly what motivates you to keep going?

One thought on “Heavy

  1. Reading this made me so confuse, I can’t understand why you’d not drop weight. There are other caloric “bombs” out there you might be consuming daily like nuts, butter, avocado, chocolate, fried or overall high oil meals.

    194 lbs in 2 years was a great weight loss goal to set, it’s achievable and planned long term, I’d recommend you to start slow and find out what if there is anything in your surrounding (high caloric foods I mentioned above) that’s causing you not to lose weight.


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